Playlist 009

Ok, here's a new playlist, just in time for #NYE. It kinda mixes together tempos, aka don't be scared off by Major Lazer's appearance early on. None of what I've included here is necessarily new, but it's all amazing and I die.

Some call-outs: Azealia Banks's Soda is literally the best thing ever; Taeyang's 1AM is in the mix for any K-Pop fans (if you like that and aren't familiar with the rest of his oeuvre you could check out Ringa Linga and then get sucked into the choreography videos that pop up afterwards); Future Brown is Fatima al Qadiri's "production supergroup" (The Fader), made up of her and J-Cush and Nguzunguzu, who produced some isht I love off Kelela's Cut 4 Me. Wanna Party sounds like it could've been a radio-friendly B-side off al Qadiri's solo effort, Asiatisch. Schoolboy Q's Collard Greens is so Outkast circa 2004 and Kendrick Lamar yaaaassss. But, for anyone who's been following this blog's music posts for the better part of the last year and a half (so, no one) I feel it's worth noting that Q's Man of the Year samples Chromatics' Cherry, which I blogged about in June '13. And just noticed now, almost a full year after Q's album came out. So...I'm sort of working the ahead of/behind the curve angles at the same time. Happy listening!

What I've Learned in 3 Years of Blogging

Is that I'm kind of over it. But I'm getting ahead of myself...

I keep writing and rewriting this post in my head—I have so much to say, some of it potentially useful, some of it just a tad self-indulgent. I'll try to stick to the "useful" stuff.

I'm sure by now long-term readers of this blog have noticed that it's not so much about my outfits anymore. I started this blog when I had very different priorities, when I was in a very different place in my life—literally, figuratively, creatively. Over the years it's been fun to have this as an outlet, but it hasn't really turned into...I don't know. Whatever I thought it could be. A job? A platform for my Personal Brand? It seemed, back in 2011 when I started Fruitpunch (née "*fruitpunch") that the internet was a great way to build an audience and Make It Big. Scott did it! Liam did it! Todd did it! Why can't I?

But I've realized that I do not need to conflate my success here with my success as a creative person.

It's not that a successful blogger can't be creative, but the "blogosphere," a term I use loosely to include pretty much anything published on blogs or social media at this point, seems to if not out-and-out discourage real creativity, be at least weighted to advance work that conforms before it disrupts. We're wading through a sea of socially aggregated links, each platform disseminating content to its targeted demographic, trying to figure out what matters and why.

While I think beautiful, original content can live online nicely enough, I don't think the Internet can sustain it.* A piece of content's perceived value is constantly diminished by the function of the Internet, regardless of how next level a site or app's UX may be. Hard work might resonate for a minority, but an increasing number of people who consume your content will do so outside of meaningful context and editorial constraints. It will always be seen—rather, vaguely recalled seven clicks later—as part of the whole, entangled mass.

As more and more people create more and more content, more and more people will think less and less of it—of the effort, funding, talent and know-how it takes to develop a story, a narrative, something that is complete, whole and complex. Standards will plummet and eventually plateau at some level I don't want to have to look at. At the end of the day, taste is not democratic.

Yes, the Internet is great because it allows for a lot of crap to get out there, but also makes it possible for someone like myself to have his say, to share his opinion freely. But the Internet is not "free." It is shaped by our choices, and our choices are shaped by increasingly complicated algorithms that determine what is and is not available to us to consume. It's why Facebook bought Instagram, why Google bought YouTube. Our clicks limit us, define us and determine our value. And this has all happened in an incredibly short period of time.

Anyway, now this is taking a dystopian turn, so maybe I should wrap up. (And yes, as evidenced by all of these pictures of myself, I initially thought this would be a cute "End of the Year #OOTD Roundup! LOL #NYE!" kinda post, but #YOLO.) My point is that I am dissatisfied with the Internet, and less optimistic about its future than some. Blogging is this weird thing that people do, and they do it in different ways, for different reasons. After a few years of doing it (I mean, Jesus, three years is still pretty much nothing, right?) I feel ready to change and evolve, and I feel that this is not really the space for it. So I'm taking my hustle offline. Into print.

Yes, this has been a long-winded-ass post about starting a 'zine. I don't have all of the details yet, because I'm still finalizing them, but interviews have happened, photos have been tooken, and I am putting it out there in the world so that it feels a little more real.

As for the future of this blog, we'll see. It's a shame to stop updating it just because I'm having some sort of existential Internet-induced crisis, but at the same time I am less and less sure of what it is, what it could be, what it should be. Which is overthinking it, to say the least, but again, other writers' blogs are the wind beneath their digital wings, propelling them to new heights as professional spoof Twitter account-havers and suggested Tumblr-ers.

So, long story short, now that we're officially 800 words deep, I'm going to keep it going, doing my thing, and allowing myself more time to do what I'm feeling most passionate about, which is not necessarily this. But not nothing. So keep an eye on social, where I'll be disseminating content to you, my target audience, about how everything is coming along ;p

*UPDATE: I had a nice Twitter chat with Haseeb that I wanted to summarize here to help clarify one of my points. I don't mean to say that there's no hope for the Internet, just that I don't think it's where quality content is born. If you have a great project then the Internet and social media can support it, but I think all properties, especially those born digital, can't exist solely as a blog or a site or whatever. The site is one place where content lives, but so is Pinterest, so is Instagram. Content creators need to account for that going in to make sure that they create a brand that's dynamic and self-sustaining, one that can grow and exist not just on the internet, but via the Internet, using the Internet purposefully instead of just parking your property there. I think a lot of people have done that and continue to do that because there's no overhead, but those people fail anyway because the internet isn't a foundation, it's moving and shifting constantly and that needs to be accounted for.

My Year In #Instatravel

This year was a good one for my passport, which got a lot more action than I did and on multiple continents at that. I wish I could just fly around taking pictures and stuffing myself in between shots, but I get the sense that no one wants to pay me to do that? If they did, though, the following is a taste of the unfettered brilliance I would bring, literally and metaphorically, to the table.

I travel alone a lot and am just generally a hermit, so whenever I deign to crawl out of my cave I make sure I take lots of pictures of interesting walls, floors, roofs, maybe some food—a table for me and my phone is the new table for two, you know? LOL #loneliness.

Traveling solo has its ups and downs, and by the end of my time in Italy I was kind of wishing I had a companion, preferably someone else with a really irregular poop schedule so maybe our cycles could sync up. Right? And can we talk about how I missed the Alamuddin-Clooney wedding in Venice by like, three days? I mean, thanks a lot, God. I guess I'll just have to remember Venice as that place on water where I almost saw George Clooney get married, and how catchy is that?



Speaking of bowel movements and water, the food in Colombia man, wtf. Not exactly a diamond in anyone's culinary crown, Cartagena was nonetheless a lot of fun to trek around, at least for the first three days. Plus, thanks to whoring myself out as press, I got to stay at Hotel Santa Clara, where Lauren Santo Domingo had her rehearsal dinner back in '08. Vogue devoted ten pages to the wedding and showed Bonnie Morrison, Barbara Bush and Amanda Brooks standing in the hotel's breezeways (not to mention Ivanka Trump by the pool, bitch), which basically validates the entire trip and all of my life choices leading up to it.

And then there was Nice, France. That was cute. Chanel flew us out there to make a video of their rose harvesting process and when we came back Julianne Moore, Jason DeRulo and Adriana Lima were on our flight, in the same cabin as us. And then our heads exploded and I couldn't.

So this is all to say that traveling is totally worth it, as long as you see a celeb or ostensibly share the last dying wisps of stale air once breathed in by one, or at least someone who's like, really hot and rich. Otherwise, IDK why you even left your house and I definitely cannot fxck with why you brought your phone out like somebody cares.

JK! Traveling is great. Here is where I link you to all of my other travel posts and tell you to follow me on Instagram.

Last Minute Local

I know, so much product these last few weeks! But what can I say, I'm on my grind. Or something. As a counterpart to last week's gift guide, this is all just stuff that's made and sold here in Brooklyn, with a cameo or two by some distant island they call Manhattan. I think if I weren't on the world's tightest budget right now I'd spring for the walnut valet tray and/or the In God We Trust jewelry. I already own the bookends (amaze), but if I didn't I'd be all over the Coil + Drift book display.

At the end of the day the only gift I'll probably commit to is a couple of Mast Brothers chocolate bars wrapped in twine. It's the gift that keeps on giving, because once I give it to you (mom, dad) I find one way or another to eat half of it while you aren't looking. Merry Christmas!

Chen Chen & Kai Williams metamorphic rock bookends at Creatures of Comfort. (As seen in my bedroom makeover.)

Areaware concrete desk set at The Primary Essentials.

Yield Design Co. geo stand set at McNally Jackson.

Thanks cuff and spacer ring at In God We Trust.

Medium Apple B mobile by Fort Makers.

Cups by Romy Northover at Still House.

Saito wood coaster at Personnel of New York. (Anecdote: These are my favorite coasters. They're Japanese plywood and they look just as good used as intended with my Heath mug as they do as bases for my Lite + Cycle pillar candles. I bought one at Tortoise in L.A. and then picked up three more at Personnel last week, which means there are only two left in stock for you. I'm sure they'd be happy to place another order if you're not shopping on a deadline.)

Walnut valet tray at Kaufmann Mercantile. (FYI: KM is online-only.)

Coil + Drift canyon book display at Jill Lindsey.

(Please Take Me To) Villa Lena

Villa Lena is this amazing hotel and artist's retreat outside of Florence that I discovered in Living Corriere, an Italian magazine I'm so in love with right now. I wrote about the hotel for work, but, ok, I actually started a new job this week, but my point is that I almost stayed there for a hot second during my trip in September. Unfortunately it didn't pan out because it's like, literally off the beaten path. C'est la vie.

Can someone buy me a residency? Is that how this works? I'm not sure we have those in America. I'd like to write a novel about a young man who takes up a residency abroad and then is like, "Surprise, bitches! I'm never leaving!" and then they kick him out and he gets lost under the Tuscan sun and finds love and Reese Witherspooon, who's like, "I'm going Wild™!"

The moral of the story is that copyright law is much looser in Europe. Read more about Villa Lena/see more pics here and here. All photos © Coke Bartrina / Villa Lena.

In the Spirit of Giving (Get Some)

I always debate doing a "gift guide" post every year because I kind of hate gift guides. There are way too many of them and no one really needs anything, you know? But I started putting this collage together and it was kind of therapeutic and then I spent like, two hours on it so now you have to bear witness to it. The gist of it is: here's some stuff that I like. There's a home office theme going on, I guess because I like...desks...and...work? A desk is where I watch all of my porn write all of these thoughtful entries, so it makes some kind of sense. You can find more isht I like on Pinterest, duh.

01 Something Good Split container, $129
02 The Monocle Guide to Better Living, $60
03 L'atelier D'exercices Endless Notes notepad, $52
04 Rosenthal Tütenvase, $136
05 Terrapin Stationers From the Desk of... note cards, $30
06 Delfonics wood ballpoint pen, $10
07 Hay candelabra, $44
08 Ferm Living espresso cups, $42
09 Hay boxes, $44

And Again With the Uni-sexy

Let me tell you a story. A few years ago when I was working retail I helped this one guy, European, obviously, otherwise I would have ignored him, and he was wearing this really great sweater. It turned out to be Céline, obviously.

Now, you might imagine him to be trim or kind of small, like me, but he was this burly bear guy. And the sweater, it fit him wonderfully! It had, and now I'm trying to remember it and I'm embellishing it, but I know it had split side seams, and that was kind of amazing, that this big guy was casually wearing this silhouette that was supposed to be manufactured for femininity. It looked wonderful on him. And ever since I've been like, damn, if I just had that one sweater.

And then I found it.

Well, not that exact one, but a split side seam turtleneck from Apiece Apart. It's gorgeous and perfect. Merino wool, navy, a slight taper to accentuate my shapely silhouette. Well, it's made in China, which is always kind of a red flag for me, but I guess if it weren't it'd cost as much as this Proenza one? I mean, Jesus people, how much should a sweater cost? Thank god it's sale season.

These are some other uni-sexy looks from the brand. Hot damn tho. That white shirt! That chunky knit! Those loafers! I can't even. You can find out more about the brand here and here, and be sure to check out their awesome Tumblr while you're at it.

Top photo via J.Crew / Bottom photos via Apieceapart.com.

Moving Mountains

I hadn't seen this collection from Moving Mountains before, but then I did and now I hate my life, which I can tell you right now is not on track to include these beautiful things in it anytime soon. Dude, the Confetti Credenza is literally "price upon request," which is shop speak for "we don't like your kind 'round here." The Aspect Lamps feature conical shades that "allude to distinct personalities," which is more than I can say for half of my Facebook friends. I guess this is all just a long-winded way of saying that I'm still on the lookout for a sugar daddy, you know, one of those older guys who needs my young, sexually incisive eye to pick out great furniture that we can divide amongst ourselves in the inevitable divorce. Any takers?

Thanks & Giving

If the eight-hour drive from New York to Charlottesville taught me anything, it's that Maroon 5 is, surprisingly, more popular than Taylor Swift. I also learned that I do a mean impression of Harry Styles, as long as you've no idea who Harry Styles is or where he's from or what he does.

The trip home was a surprise for my parents. They're hard to shop for, my father ritualistically intoning we children "save our money", my mother inclined to sate most of her earthly needs on her own dime and schedule (like mother like son.) I still bring up the sage green pashmina I gave her years ago from time to time in an attempt to make a point about how impeccable my taste was in college and how if only she'd appreciated it more—texted me photos of herself draped in it while reading The Hunger Games, a smile and knowing look on her face—she could've upgraded to cashmere sweater sets by now.

But I thought it'd be nice if I showed up on their porch. It's the least I could do, right? And so there I was, the night before Thanksgiving, asking them to graciously order in a meat lover's pizza so there'd be something substantial over which we could bitch about American exceptionalism and binge watch the entire first season of Broad City (mother walked out). I also hijacked one of their cars and went ~*sHopPiNg*~.

I bought some art and a few curios from local favorites, plus a new hat that got me compared to Indiana Jones within an hour of its inaugural wearing. Score! I also played dress up in my mom's "future fit" (as in, it'll fit again, in the future) clothing, which she's taken to storing in my old bedroom closet. But, you guys, look how cute this outfit is:

Pretty legit, right? The look is "goth librarian" (always a good look) and I achieved it using a Weekenders skirt, J.Jill blouse and a Banana Republic sweater. Literally all you need to look like a boss is one pair of dominatrix-y leather zip boots.

Shout out to my moms for not balking when her closer-to-30-than-not son came down in her clothes like, "Now I'm going to stand in your foyer and pose and you're going to take pictures and then I'm going to post it all to Facebook," and acting like that's par for the course.

Guillermo Vega

I've had this story in one of my notebooks since last summer, when I went to Cartagena. I haven't shared any of those pictures here, but now seems as good a time as any since I posted some of the art I bought down there in my bedroom makeover.

I stumble upon the Getsemaní studio of Guillermo Vega. Someone out back waves me in and I enter; when I look up it's not the same man I initially saw coming forward, but an older man. I wish him a good afternoon and start to look around the room at the paintings. "This is you?" I ask, pointing to the signature on one painting: "Guillermo Vega." He says yes it is and goes on talking about his work. I catch almost none of it, but nod and try to repeat every other word I comprehend, thinking it seems appreciative. He says something about the world and starts listing off countries. "Yes, so many countries," I agree. 

If Guillermo can tell I'm completely clueless he doesn't show it. He tells me he has been painting for a long time, fifty-five years. He shows me photos of himself when he was younger. He shows me his garden where he grows aloe vera, which can be used in your hair and as a mask, he says, as he mimes putting it all over his face. He has eggs on the ends of some tree branches and I ask him why; I think he tells me it's to keep away ants, but it might have something to do with flowers. A pair of pants is hung up on a clothesline, dusty. "It's maravilloso," I tell him, and he seems appreciative. There's a man behind him in the garden, I think Guillermo calls him Carlos. Carlos sits on the stoop and the two of them chat for awhile which gives me time to take pictures.

Guillermo holds up a golden piggy bank he's using as a planter and smiles. He pulls together the leaves of one plant; he seems to take pride in his garden and is happy to have it photographed. I'm happy to have something beautiful and personal to photograph. We go back inside his studio and he signs his name on the back of the portrait of Christ I've selected. "If I don't sell, I don't eat," he tells me. Or maybe he's saying, "I go hungry," but either way I think he is glad to make a sale, even though I can't offer him the full 50,000 pesos he's asked for the painting. He kindly accepts 46,000.

Carlos comes from the back to help wrap the painting in plastic, but first he writes the day's date and the name of the neighborhood on the back of the painting. Portraits of Christ, army generals, wild cats, and neighborhood life line the walls. It feels good to be an audience for someone who's invited me into his backyard as a guest, to step beyond the threshold and see something real as real can get for a clumsy monolingual American lugging around a camera, glued to his iPhone.

P.S. I'm telling myself I'll share other pictures from this trip next month, for sure. Look out.

My Big Fat Bedroom Makeover

Holy shit, you guys: I actually made over my bedroom instead of just blogging about it and then failing miserably to realize my ambitions! This is mostly due to the fact that this was a work project—one in a series of "editor makeovers." Mine went up on Lonny.com last week, and I 'grammed and 'fbooked about it then, but this is your chance to get all the juicy behind the scenes details—of which there are none. But let's pretend, shall we?

First things first: the bedroom "before." One wall was the most tragic shade of pink, there were no window treatments, the bed was a foul beast...it just wasn't pretty. I had the big dream to go really bold with color since my last bedroom was a white box. White worked there because I got such great light, but this space, despite having two windows, is a lot darker. The decorating M.O. had to be tweaked.

For awhile I'd been toying with the idea of a red bedroom, thinking specifically of designer Nick Olsen's old apartment, but the shade was uniformly dismissed by my colleagues. I was also really tempted to go gray after seeing the interior of Gris, an antiques shop in Hudson, NY, painted Benjamin Moore's Kendall Charcoal. Tempted...but not convinced. I ended up springing for Stiffkey Blue, a dark blue from Farrow & Ball with gray-green undertones. I think. From certain angles. Whatever, I like it. See for yourself, below.

You can read all of the nitty gritty over on Lonny, but the long and the short of it is: blue! Everywhere! And bedding and rug and art, oh my! The space ended up being a lot more worldly than my last room, and a good bit less "Brooklyn-y"—more in line with the inspirations I shared. I was able to work in a lot of my antiques and stuff I've picked up while traveling to create a few moments, not to mention lots of tiny plants in tiny ceramic dishes.

I worked with In Bed to dress my low-profile West Elm bed. The headboard is a piece of plywood upholstered in a vintage fabric and the indigo quilt is from Coming Soon; the throw pillows I bought at Hammer And Spear in LA. The whole package has a distinctly zen vibe, and I think I read somewhere that low furniture is more inviting than really tall furniture? All I know is that the height of everything is dictated by how wonky the walls are—none of them are flat and straight. Both of the walls in the photo above are angled in (note the dormer windows) so I can't easily hang art on them or, you know, anything else. In a perfect world I might have a tall floor lamp in that far corner, but in the meantime I put my tulip table there, covered in African mudcloth to blend in a little better with the bedding.

I bought new art for the lefthand side table to really define that area beneath the window. It's a Saul Lishinsky sketch I got at (say it with me now) the Brooklyn Flea, from dealer Brian Cousins, one half of the duo behind Hollander & Lexer. Cousins has the most incredible stall at the Flea, with a ton more sketches by Lishinsky and a drool-inducing assortment of curios and objets. In addition to the art I bought vintage boro fabric and an antique Indian tikka box. The staggered Chinese stools are antiques from Home Stories, a totally gorgeous shop in Brooklyn Heights.

For the window treatments I went really trad, opting for Rose Tarlow's Tatton Stripe in Paper Bag for a pair of roman shades. The light fixture is Tom Dixon, the flowers were done by Saffron and the art in the far corner is a portrait of Christ by self-taught Colombian painter Guillermo Vega, who'll get a dedicated post later this week.

I would show the desk area, but I feel like it's not really done yet. It's pretty much the same as it looks here. Speaking of which, that chair is going to be ready in a week or two and I'll have a post about that, which is kind of amazing. The other half of the room, where I dream of putting my mid-century console, is basically not done at all. In theory, it will look something like this:

But...we'll see. I have no more monies and, at the end of the day, am not sure how much more work I feel like putting into a rented room, especially when I've already made so many major changes to the space. In my last room, though I just installed drapery, it felt like the whole year flew by and I was taking stuff down right after it'd been put up. Le sigh.

I've been doing a lot of decor shopping online lately, natch, and I feel like there are a few details I've left out here...products I really like, etc., but I've rounded up some recent finds that I think are worth checking out, and there's always more where that came from on Pinterest.

The Agi & Sam School of Layering

So you may remember this look from last spring, but it accidentally got deleted for eternity when I switched blog platforms over the summer and so here it is again. This #OOTD was inspired by Agi & Sam's awesome AW14 collection, which was amazing and totally on my wavelength.

I attempted to recreate some of their layering magic with a vintage shirt, pants and a quilted skirt from Uniqlo and a long Comme des Garçons jacket. You can kind of sort of shop the look, below!

Playlist 008

Ok, so I'm trying something new this month—I put my whole playlist on Soundcloud. Do I sound old, saying that? Who's asking? Nevermind.

Of note: I'm obsessed with SZA right now (like, for the past day and a half) and am wondering why I'd never heard of her. She gives me LDR vibes by way of FKA Twigs channeling Jill Scott. If you're looking for something more upbeat than Aftermath, the song I included here, listen to Julia. Oh, Doja Cat is also amazing. I included Cannibal in this mix, but my actual favorite of hers right now is Throwed. (And if you're intrigued enough to click that link, then you definitely have to listen to Ice Cream Pu$$y, which my friend described as "ear crack," but which only exists as some jank clip on YouTube for some reason.) Otherwise it's just stuff I've got on repeat!

2 Ways with Tone-on-Tone

Apologies for last week's radio silence—I was sick! I was also encumbered by lots of feels re: Lena Dunhamgate and the Rose McGowan situation and told myself I'd write a long thinkpiece about body ownership and language and feminism, but then I fell asleep for four hours yesterday and lost the capacity for engaging the Internet in debate via embedded tweets. Such is life. Instead, I collaged some outfits!

I was inspired by this look to create two tone on tone, loafer-grounded outfits. The first is "pilgrim rocker" chic, which means high waisted, cropped pants with a baggy sack shirt topped off with a cropped leather jacket. I like the play of textures and shades of gray and generally looking like an anguished art teacher. The second look is a little more structured and mannish, but mannish in a Caroline de Maigret way, not like in a man way.

Top look: Jacket United Arrows | Pants 1205 | Shirt Acne | Shoes Marsell

Bottom look: Denim A.P.C. | Shirt Our Legacy | Frames Warby Parker | Coat Our Legacy | Scarf Christophe Lemaire | Loafers Lanvin

You can see more tone-on-tone inspiration on my Pinterest.