Three easy steps to being the most beautiful girl in the world...
Yesterday, while everyone was gathering 'round their "televisions" to watch "super bowl" I was having a really productive time on the domestic front. I did mondo laundry, cleaned my room, bought groceries, bleached my an–er, tweezed my eyebrows and was just generally capable. I'd even gotten a haircut the day before (I'm back at Fellow Barber in Soho; this time I saw Ashley—she was great!) and was feeling extra sharp—but then I realized I had run out of hair products and was in desperate need of a new groomtine. To make matters worse, I then remembered that I hadn't exfoliated in a really long time. This effectively doubled the amount of crisis I was having, so I determined to try this recipe for a homemade face mask from a recently acquired back issue of Fantastic Man.
The recipe is recounted by Bowles' mother, Anne. It's quite simple, really; here's what you'll need: one (1) egg, one (1) teaspoon honey, a bowl, a whisk. To make the mask you whisk the egg white (just the white) in a bowl until it's frothy, then slowly add a teaspoon of honey—beating all the while—until it's blended. Then, "apply liberally" to face and neck. One thing you might notice is that it basically looks like...hmm, what do we call semen in polite company? I guess semen. It looks like you just got out of a bukkake orgy. Like you have spooge all over your face.
The recipe left me with an excessive amount of goop, the consistency of which was runnier than I expected. I tried to rub as much as I could all over my face; it kind of hardened like a meringue, as the instructions said it would, but it never really looked as "masky" as I wanted it to. Again, it just looked like a bunch...yeah. I left it on for 20 minutes and sort of camped out, fiddling with my diddly and whatnot, then washed it off. I looked into the mirror and...I'm not so sure it actually worked? I was supposed to be left with "skin like a baby's bottom," but I think my skin is pretty much the same as it ever was. Balls.
Have you ever tried a homemade mask like this? Did it work?
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