[TRENDSPOTTING] MODERN LACE

File under: coulda woulda shoulda. This extra-long Astrid Andersen basketball tank would've been great for the Met Gala, with just some silky black trunks (preferably cut from a diaper pattern) underneath and an OTK (that's over-the-knee, nubes) Rick Owens meel. Amiright? Me and Chloë Sevigny would've shut it down like only ex-sisterwives know how and then obviously we'd have had lots of cool the sex with not blind male models!

BEAM ME UP, TOPMAN

I told myself I was going to go museum hopping the other day, so naturally I ended up in Topshop. They have a really solid selection of incredibly adorable shirts, though I withheld from making any purchases because I think I’m finally coming to terms with wants vs. needs: I WANT to buy everything and NEED you to sit on me so I can’t reach my AmEx. Also, I'm really glad it looks like I'm in a spaceship in all of these photos, though I feel a particular need to address my outfit in picture three: you know what? I'm glad the only people who might try to hit on me in this getup are clowns and German tourists. And re: picture four...the face is on purpose - I'm totally in on the joke, you guys!

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SPOTTIEOTTIEDOPALISCIOUS

1) I got my hair cropped again! And today I went back for a little more because I'm a homosexual and I couldn't resist thE DrAmA!

2) Isn't this shirt so cute? Polka dots! And the fit ain't half bad, either. BUT: It's like, $50...for a linen/cotton blend made in Indonesia...from Urban Outfitters. Is it worth it? #debatable

3) If you can tell me what band's song this post's title comes from I'll give you five hugs and a jelly bean. Or five jelly beans and a hug...ball's in your court.